St. Mark the Evangelist Catholic Church

3939 W. Tecumseh Rd., Norman

Weekend Mass Times: Saturdays at 5:30pm, Sundays at 9:00am and 11:00am

My friend and I began our church-hopping adventure at St. Mark the Evangelist Catholic Church. I was raised Catholic, and actually attended this particular church once before, many years ago – so I have a certain comfort level with Catholicism, and with St. Mark’s. I liked the idea of starting somewhere “safe,” before venturing out into strange new religious territory.

We got there early and grabbed a seat in the last pew. As Mass began, I felt myself slipping right back into the old familiar routines and rituals. The genuflection, the sign of the cross, the Nicene Creed – it all came flooding back to me. Although I was there as an observer, not a participant, I felt freakishly comfortable.

My mother once said that what she liked about Catholicism is that you could go to any church, anywhere in the world, and it would be pretty much the same. I can definitely see the appeal of this. You know what to expect. No matter what insanity may be going on in the rest of your world, this one thing never changes. It’s extremely comforting.

But at the same time, the very roteness of Catholicism is what turned me away. It’s a very authoritarian religion, and there never seems to be much room for questions or debate. It’s all so very “do as you’re told.” You go through the motions, without ever really thinking about it. It seems strangely empty to me.

But I digress…

When I first saw the priest (who was a visiting priest, not the regular one), I was distracted by how much he resembled John Malkovich. I really wanted him to say “hither and thither,” but was placated when, during the homily, he quoted from a dog-eared copy of Franny and Zooey – maybe the first time I’ve heard a priest read from Salinger.

The homily was inspirational (and this comes from someone who is not easily inspired, mind you). Father Malkovich spoke of being able to recognize God in the little things, like a kind gesture from a stranger. I spent the duration of his sermon mulling this over, greatly appreciating the idea and wondering how an Atheist could apply this concept to her own Godless life.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I guess I could say I believe in God – but in a very, very abstract way. There are so many things that give me that wonderful feeling of total fulfillment, the things you might say “feed my soul.” My dogs’ goofy grins. A great conversation with Dwight. Interesting food. Art. Sex. Thunderstorms. Volunteering at the animal shelter. Couldn’t I say that the way these things make me feel, this intangible quality that brings me such joy, couldn’t I say that this is God? Why does God have to be so, well, God? The traditional concept of a bearded old man who sits on High answering prayers and passing judgment doesn’t really do it for me, but I could get behind the idea of being thankful for that mysterious element of life that gives me such pleasure.

This realization brings me a sense of relief, for some reason. Maybe it’s a small step towards letting go of my anger and alienation. Perhaps I have a deep-seated desire to “pass” as a Believer, to be part of the club. Maybe I have such a desperate need to feel like part of a community that I’ll accept some kind of tenuous definition of God. And is that necessarily a bad thing?

My friend jarred me out of my introspective state. “They let women be ushers?” she whispered. I looked up to see that the ushers were in the process of bringing the gifts up to the altar.

“Yeah,” I whispered back.

“They don’t let women be ushers at my parents’ church.”

“Really?” I asked, incredulously. Catholicism isn’t exactly at the cutting edge of the women’s rights movement or anything, so I’d always taken it for granted that if the Catholic Church allowed female ushers, all churches probably did. Then I remembered attending Dwight’s parents’ church last Christmas, and noticing that there were only male ushers. Why is this? Is the Catholic Church weirdly progressive in this regard, or are these other churches just weirdly retro? It will be my mission to find out.

The rest of the Mass proceeded uneventfully. The Liturgy of the Eucharist was still the same, although I stayed in my seat and didn’t receive Communion. Nothing new to report, although I was still puzzling over the whole female usher thing.

When Mass ended, the woman to my right struck up a conversation with me, asking if my friend and I were new to the church. She looked to be about my age, and for some reason, I instantly liked her. She was very friendly and welcoming, and seemed like someone I would want to be friends with.

I left St. Mark’s feeling strangely happy and peaceful. It was a very pleasant experience, and I was a little unnerved by just how much I enjoyed it.

My friend’s experience was a bit different. Her mother was once Catholic, but my friend was raised in a Southern Baptist environment. She seemed to feel a little uncomfortable with the ritualistic aspects of the Mass, and the homily didn’t really resonate with her. Nor did she particularly like that the Mass was basically the same, week after week. She mentioned her surprise that the prayers focused so much on Jesus Christ, and admitted that like many people, she’d thought Catholics didn’t praise Jesus quite as much as other denominations.

I once again found myself in the role of explaining (and even almost defending Catholicism). This is something I still catch myself doing, even as an Atheist. Regardless of what my religious views are at this point in my life, and despite my disagreements with certain aspects of Catholicism, it’s always a part of me. Sometimes I wonder if being Catholic isn’t a little bit similar to being Jewish or being Muslim. It’s not really something you choose – you’re kind of born into it, and it’s always a part of you. While I resent never being given the opportunity to choose my faith, I wouldn’t be me without Catholicism.

(Incidentally, I also find it interesting that so many prominent Atheists were raised Catholic. That’s a connection I’d like to explore further.)

This was certainly a surprisingly enlightening first day. I definitely didn’t expect to have such a massive epiphany at this early stage. Although I told my friend that next week we need to go somewhere that’s going to piss me off – I enjoyed this church far too much.