Yesterday, I revealed my list of celebrity crushes. Who’s on your list?

It seems the Maryland Senate candidates aren’t slinging mud so much as they’re simply throwing the old tennis ball around.

Republican Michael Steele started off with an ad featuring a Boston terrier. He suggested that television sets would soon be inundated with attack ads–”STEELE HATES PUPPIES.”

According to the New York Times, The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee responded with an ad stating: “Michael Steele: He likes puppies, but he loves George Bush.”

Steele fought back with another ad featuring the dog growling at the very notion of “nasty ads from the Washington crowd.”

Note to Oklahoma politicians: I like pointers. Put a pointer in your ad and I’ll vote for you. Steele’s political ads can be viewed here.

My brain is trans fat-fried from deadlines at work and the general pressures of adult life – as a result, I seem to be regressing deeper and deeper into TweenerLand^TM. Most unbecoming of a 30-year old woman, I know. Apologies.

Future Second Husband #1: Jack White

It all started about five years ago, when I discovered the White Stripes. Not only was an enduring love of bluesy garage rock born, a crush was born – a giddy, obsessive, schoolgirl crush on Jack White. Yes, there I was in my mid-to-late 20′s, ripping out pictures of Jack from magazines like Mojo and Guitar World to plaster on my cubicle walls at work.

I soon began telling friends that should Dwight ever die, Jack White was going to become my Future Second Husband – he just didn’t know it yet. (Never mind that he has since become the ultimate rock star clich by marrying a supermodel. Never mind that at all.)

My Jack crush lasted all the way up until about the time Get Behind Me Satan was released. By then, Jack was sporting a creepy, child molestor-esque mustache and I no longer found myself wiping drool from the corners of my mouth when I saw his picture. However, when we were standing in the front row at the Stripes show in Kansas City last year, I re-developed my crush while watching him onstage. His ill-advised mustache was overshadowed by his screaming guitar solos. The drool returned, and puddled at my feet.

Jack continues to remain number one on my list of Future Second Husbands.

Future Second Husband #2: Stephen Colbert

The number two spot on my somewhat eclectic list goes to one Mr. Stephen Colbert. This crush has been simmering for the better part of the last year. There is something about this man (his sense of humor, his brainy sex appeal?) that I find completely irresistible. And strangely enough, Maxim agrees with me on this one – Colbert landed in the number two spot on their list of TV’s Sexiest News Anchors.

This will likely be the only time Maxim and I ever agree on anything.

Future Second Husband #3: Keith Olbermann

Maybe it’s his now routine “Special Comments” (throwing back to the days of Edward R. Murrow), or his unwavering criticism of the Bush administration. Maybe it’s his snarky, razor-sharp wit or his background in sports journalism. For whatever reason, Keith Olbermann has recently settled into the number three spot on my list of Future Second Husbands.

Side note: One of the many things I love about my marriage is that Dwight and I are able to joke openly about things like my list. One night a few weeks ago, as we were coming home from the bar, we debated who he would fix me up with – Colbert or Olbermann. Dwight finally decided he would set me up with Olbermann, because he had the sports background to offer, and I do have a love of the foozball. What’s better than a man I can share political rants with and watch the game?

Future Second Husband #4: John Krasinski

The most recent addition to my list, you may know him as “Jim” on NBC’s version of The Office. I’m not sure why he’s on my list, other than he’s adorable, hilarious, and has great hair.

Making brief appearances on my list throughout the years have been: Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance (I seem to have a thing for pale-skinned, dark-haired Goth boys), Jared Leto, Trent Reznor and Lance Armstrong. And since I’m all about equal opportunity, let’s not forgot my future lesbian life partner – Amanda Palmer from The Dresden Dolls. I’ve had a girl crush on her for a good two years now, and I think this might be the one crush of mine that Dwight shares.

For the last day or so at work, Ive been unhealthily obsessed with the auto-capitalization feature on Microsoft Outlook.

It all began when I replied to an inflammatory e-mail from Dwight with a hearty, Jesus christ! (Although I cant remember the content of said e-mail, Im quite certain it pertained to something or other in the news that day.) As I had failed to capitalize the word Christ, I noticed that my Outlook thoughtfully did it for me.

Oh, great, I muttered to myself. Even my computer is Christian.

I brought this peculiar incident to the attention of my coworker friend, who suggested that maybe Outlook recognized it as a last name, and subsequently capitalized it.

Okay, that made sense.

I typed in edwards. Outlook capitalized it for me. Then I tried, jones, miller, and smith, all common last names. Nothing. No capitalization at all.

So, the only surnames Outlook auto-capitalizes are Christ and Edwards? What does it mean?

Jones, Miller and Smith could all be used in other contexts, my coworker friend helpfully volunteered. Outlook is probably recognizing that, and so it doesnt auto-capitalize.

A lively debate regarding various usages of the words miller and smith ensued. I agreed they could be used in other contexts, but has anyone really talked about a miller or a smith in the last hundred years? While this discussion was taking place, I was also e-mailing my friend Jessika to inform her of my latest discovery.

Jessika then began testing this feature on her own, by using the names of other religious figures. Through this process, we learned that the oh-so-fickle Outlook will auto-capitalize Buddha, while Allah receives only a squiggly red underline. Three more squiggly red underlines for Zeus, Ra and Isis. Outlook wont capitalize Satan, but it will capitalize Lucifer.

I dont get it.

Then we tried a string of random words that are normally capitalized Atlantis, Easter and Washington. Outlook failed to capitalize any of these.

Unable to find any kind of meaningful pattern, and thoroughly confused, I looked up the Auto Correct options. The options included the auto-capitalization of first letters of sentences and names of days, but mentioned nothing about surnames.

The more I ponder this, the more obsessed I become. Its not normal. And meanwhile, the project Im working on (that real work of mine) continues to sit, ignored, on my desk

In their “primer on American interrogation,” Slate attempts to help us all answer the question “What is Torture?”

Their primer is intended:

not to persuade you to support or oppose [use of torture], but to help you formulate your own views on where the acceptable boundaries may lie. We’ve tried to separate facts from analysis, using principally the primary documents made available through government reports, leaks, or Freedom of Information Act requests. The aim is to inform the national conversation about the way America acts in the war against terror.

That’s refreshing. Watching the pundits go after each other on the cable news shows is its own brand of torture.