What movie would you like to see remade, or what television show would you like to see turned into a feature film?

I was talking with a friend about the Miami Vice movie, and it got me thinking about the never-ending onslaught of remakes Hollywood insists on shoving down our throats. This assault has been going on for some time now, with everything from The Love Bug, to The Dukes of Hazzard, to The Hills Have Eyes, receiving an update.

Take Miami Vice for example. I can think of no good reason why this should be made into a film. When I think of Miami Vice, I think of all the awesomeness that was the 80′s. Cocaine, pastel suits, Phil Collins – all of this represents a snapshot in time. It should be left that way, not reduced to a mere, modern shadow of its former self. Is Michael Mann that eager to cannibalize his own material? Is Hollywood that hard up for new ideas?

Wait. Don’t answer that.

And exactly which demographic are these things produced for? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a good example. I don’t understand why anyone with awareness of the original would even want to watch the remake – especially when the 70′s version was so incredible and influenced horror movies for years to come (including, presumably, its own remake). Maybe there are just a lot of nostalgic people out there. Or maybe these movies are intended for those who are too young or too ignorant to be aware of the original.

But we can’t seem to figure out that the remakes are rarely as good as the original (if the original was even that good to begin with). People flock to the theaters, and Hollywood continues to crank out the crap.

So what’s next, after we’ve raped and pillaged the 70′s and 80′s? I guess it’s time to tackle the 90′s. Can we expect a Beverly Hills 90210 movie sometime in the near future? That might rock. What about a big-screen return of The X-Files? Or, here’s an idea – let’s update one of my favorite movies of the 90′s, Singles. That whole Seattle grunge thing is so dated. Oooh! Oooh! I’ve got it -a movie version of Friends. Does that blow your mind or what?

This would all be funny to me if I didn’t suspect that somewhere, someone is actually sitting in a pitch meeting like this. What’s it going to take to get some fresh ideas around here?

This is way cooler:

Although I’m not about to drop $350 on it, if you want to, I’ll graciously accept it as a token of your affection.

I won’t let you draw me, though.

(Via Agent Bedhead)

Or is it?

My parents were always a bit on the overprotective side. After graduating from high school, I fled to an out-of-state university, anxious to get away from curfews and nosy questions. Once I got over the initial homesickness resulting from being away from home for the first time, I realized that my newfound freedom was everything Id hoped for. I had no one to answer to. I could study when I wanted and go out when I wanted. I could go to parties and stay up all night. I could eat pizza for breakfast and Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner. I could have boys in my room – with the door closed.

After this first taste of independence, I vowed to never live at home again, and I kept that vow (except for when I returned home during my first three summers in college). I got a job and worked my way through college, relying on student loans and credit cards to cover the rest of my expenses. After graduation, I quickly found my first real job and thereby officially entered the adult world. I havent lived within two hours of my hometown in nearly a decade.

I used to think all of this was pretty normal.

Fast forward to 2006. Now I see friends, coworkers, even my brother, moving back home after college (if they even left in the first place). Is this the new normal? When did parents stop expecting their children to have made a few plans for the future, and instead welcome them home to stay, rent-free, while they figure things out? When did kids begin to no longer need or want their independence, and when did they stop being embarrassed if they still lived at home past a certain age?

And they called my generation the slacker generation.

I did a little research to see if I was just imagining things. Apparently not, according to The San Francisco Chronicle:

Two months ago, Newsweek published some of the most recent statistics. Some 48 percent of students graduating in 2006 say they will move back into their parents’ home, a total of some 780,000 “boomerangers.” What’s more, Newsweek found that 44 percent of those who moved in after last year’s graduation are still there. And only half of them say it’s because they can’t afford to live elsewhere.

So whats the deal? Some Boomerangers cite financial reasons, saying that its just too expensive to live on their own, or that they want to save money. Although this is probably true in some cases (people who live in high cost-of-living areas like New York and California, for example), I wonder if many of these kids just have unrealistic expectations. Maybe theyve seen too many episodes of The Hills.

Case in point: a girl I know continues to live at home with her relatively affluent parents. Shes a college graduate and has a fairly good-paying job. Having long complained about her parents interference in her life, shes finally taking steps to move out on her own – but shes not moving into an apartment or even a starter house, shes moving into a newer, 2000-square foot home. While house hunting, she often complained about how expensive houses were, and I soon realized it was because she wasnt even considering the more modest dwellings – those she dismissed as too ghetto.

Another girl I know lived at home until the age of 30, again with relatively affluent parents. She had similar attitudes when buying her first home with her fianc, refusing to look at anything that was smaller than 1900 square feet and not located in Northwest OKC.

I wonder if these are merely isolated examples of snobbery, materialism, and unrealistic expectations, or if theyre indicative of a larger issue. Are these people too spoiled? Are they accustomed to a certain level of comfort and wealth, and therefore expect to maintain that standard, even once out on their own? Are they that dependent on the finer things in life that theyd rather live with their parents indefinitely than settle for a ghetto house?

Or maybe these Boomerangers just have better relationships with their parents:

In the ’60s and ’70s parents and emerging adults clashed bitterly over social issues like the war in Vietnam, women in the workplace, long hair and psychedelic music. Life at home was a cultural battleground. It was one reason kids couldn’t wait to get out of the house. They couldn’t stand arguing with their parents. The “generation gap” became one of the catch phrases of the ’60s and ’70s.

But today, the University of Chicago’s Smith points out in “On the Frontier of Adulthood,” that gap has virtually vanished. Smith says a 1997 study showed there was “a sharp reduction in the number of topics on which there was a large or defining gap between the generations.” That included points of contention like “abortion, civil rights, crime, gender roles, sex and socializing.”

So now, says William Boylan, Liam’s father, parents are more likely to ask to borrow their kid’s CD to burn a copy than to complain about the content.

Although I was an emerging adult in the 90s, not the 60s or 70s, I feel much more in line with my predecessors on this point. I love my parents, but I think we get along much, much better when there are 100 or so miles in between us.

My younger brother, on the other hand, must feel differently. Having just finished college, hes preparing to move back in with Mom and Dad. What gives? Is it the old Double Standard rearing its misogynistic head again? Does he have freedom that I never experienced under their roof? Or is he so unprepared for (or unwilling to face) the future that hed rather be under their ever-watchful eye than on his own?

I dont know. Maybe Im just envious that these kids have it a little easier financially than I did, and that they can still be coddled by Mommy and Daddy well into their 20s.

I keep thinking about the scene from The Royal Tenenbaums, in which Margot learns that Chaz and his two kids are moving back into the family house. She asks, Why are they allowed to do that? and promptly moves back in herself.

Although I still have no desire to live with my parents, I feel a slight twinge of resentment that my brother gets to move back home. Its not fair. Or maybe, unreasonable though it may sound, I just want a little pat on the back for being able to take care of myself. I want someone – I dont know if its my parents, my brother, or those girls I know – to just stop and say, Hey. Good job. Im really impressed that youve been on your own for so long. Or at the very least, feel just a little bit embarrassed that they still live at home.

Joel describes a somewhat troubling voting experience:

I went ahead and took my ballot after the woman working verified who I was. The crazy thing is that she didnt ask for my ID or voter card. I just signed the paper. Thats some quality voter fraud thwarting right there. Whats the best way to make sure nothing bad happens? Uh, get Gladys to look over the books. Shes got horrible eyesight and rarely checks peoples IDs so Im sure nothing bad will happen.

You know, the last couple of times Ive voted, Ive noticed the same thing. Being the ever-prepared, politically active nerd that I am, I always have my voter registration card and my drivers license out and ready to go. But instead of asking to see my ID, the poll worker simply asks my party affiliation, finds my name on the Giant List Of Voters, and has me sign next my name. Yesterday was no exception.

Im not sure how I feel about this. A little disturbed, maybe? Im sure voter fraud would never occur in Moore, USA – but I think Id feel a little better if Id been asked for ID.