Once upon a time, the process of dieting seemed to me an almost ethereal experience. As I lost weight, I pictured one fat cell after another gradually dissipating with a little pop, like tiny soap bubbles. One minute a cell was there, bonding together with others to create my extra belly roll, the next minute it’s as if it never existed, and my stomach is one cell flatter.
Now, however, as I sit here lightheaded and with a loudly rumbling stomach a more violent kind of imagery fills my mind. I envision my body hungrily, desperately devouring itself an internal self-cannibalization that I can feel but not see.
For some reason I find this image very satisfying.
After eschewing all diets for nearly five years, I’m back on the wagon. I finally feel ready to change my eating and exercising habits, for real this time. Maybe it’s because I’ve slowly been heading in the right direction for some time now, taking small steps like drinking more water and less booze. Maybe I feel empowered by not having had a cigarette in two and a half months. Maybe it’s the Wellbutrin (I love you, antidepressants). Or maybe (just maybe) I’ve finally found a diet that works for me the Sonoma Diet.
The Sonoma Diet doesn’t really seem like a diet to me. It’s all about eating fresh, healthy foods lots of vegetables, fruit, seafood and whole grains – all things I adore anyway. There is no counting of carbs, calories or fat grams. This diet focuses more on what you can eat then on what you can’t, and you’re provided with dozens of terrific recipes, some of which Dwight and I were preparing even before we started the diet. I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life counting calories and obsessing over boring, tasteless food; the Sonoma Diet seems to be a plan that I can live with.
And have I mentioned how good the food is?
This is no endless procession of bland, steamed vegetables and dry, baked chicken breasts. No, this food comes pretty close to spectacular. Last night, for example, we ate grilled steak and a side dish of sauted broccoli, roasted red peppers and goat cheese. Lunch was a Greek salad topped with grilled shrimp. Breakfast is typically some variation on eggs and a slice of whole-grain bread (sans butter, which admittedly sucks) but getting to devour a spinach and goat cheese omelet helps take the pain away.
I’m not one for self-sacrifice and martyrdom. If I’m going to succeed at healthy eating, the food had damn well better be good.
Of course, there is a sort-of catch (besides getting used to much smaller portions than what I was accustomed to eating). For the first ten days of the diet, you’re not allowed any sugar, to wean your body off all that refined, processed crap. After ten days though, you can have fruit, wine and even an occasional bit of dark chocolate.
I cant wait. Especially for the wine.
Despite the occasional intrusive thought of my stomach eating itself, I have a strangely upbeat and positive attitude about this project. Im determined to get to a healthy weight, although I have to emphasize that I’m not doing this to look hot in a swimsuit or to conform to anyone’s ideals of beauty. I’d just like to not have to worry about my blood pressure, and maybe run a 5K sometime in the relatively near future. Those are pretty much my only goals. I feel excited and motivated (albeit hungry and slightly dizzy) about the change in lifestyle.
Let the self-cannibalization begin.
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