Question of the Day #11
The weekend is upon us. Here’s your question:
Which one thing annoys you most about other people?
Archive for September, 2005
A Good Thing?
A shameful confession: I’m weirdly fascinated by Martha Stewart.
It all began in college, once I’d officially moved out of my parents’ house and into my own apartment. I watched her shows on Food Network and HGTV, and occasionally spent hours poring over someone else’s copy of Martha Stewart Living (I never actually bought one). Drawn to this image of tasteful perfection, I found myself hooked. I loved indulging in the fantasy that I too, could someday own an elegantly-appointed house in the Hamptons…serving Rum-Glazed Shrimp and Mango to P. Diddy (excuse me, Diddy) at yet another one of my legendary beach parties. Between upscale soirees, I would spend my days arranging flowers and creating such necessities as Felt iPod Cases. (I’m not kidding…this is the latest project on Martha’s website.) Eventually though, I grew up, grew cynical, and realized that Real Life was nothing like Martha’s Life. I carefully packed away (into cedar-lined drawers, of course) all my dreams of perfect domesticity. Besides, I was starting to realize that there was something very un-feminist about this whole fantasy, and felt the first stirrings of shame as a result.
Years passed. I was mildly interested in the whole ImClone scandal, Martha’s subsequent trial and her eventual conviction…and always vaguely suspicious that she was being persecuted for something that occurs with alarming regularity behind corporate doors. She was the example.
Again, women’s issues came to mind, but in a slightly different context. I wondered if maybe, just maybe, Martha was being vilified because she was a strong, successful businesswoman breaking down the door to the Old White Boys’ Club. I also noticed the disparity in the way she and someone like say, Donald Trump, were described in the media. Instead of words like “brilliant” and “aggressive,” I heard words like, “ruthless,” “cold,” and of course, “b**ch.” As if women always have to be these soft, maternal, passive embodiments of “femininity.” Please. I began to have a little bit of actual respect for this woman, and was intrigued by her ability to manipulate and capitalize off of these stereotypes. An interesting mixture of the traditionally feminine and the traditionally masculine.
ImClone aside, my captivation with Martha lay dormant for many years, only to be recently awakened by her latest wave of self-promotion. I still harbor a great deal of shame from this renewed interest, especially since I’ve begun watching lowbrow television as a result. I’ve found myself addicted to her reality show, The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, and I even watched nearly 15 minutes of the made-for-TV movie, Martha Behind Bars, before I realized what I was doing. I haven’t watched a made-for-TV movie since high school. Dwight soon alerted me to my transgression, and I hastily (and guiltily) switched the channel to CNN…but not before briefly considering a Crawl Of Shame into the spare bedroom to watch the rest of the movie.
What has become of me? I can’t defend the utterly tabloid Martha Behind Bars, but The Apprentice is…educational. I’m learning, ummm, business skills. Yeah. Business skills. And how to write a lovely note to the person I’ve just fired, wishing them the best of luck in the future. That’s class. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go purchase a “Martha Is My Homegirl” t-shirt…and make that iPod case.
Most cordially,
SARAH
Question of the Day #10
You find yourself on Death Row, about to be served your Last Meal. What do you order?
The King of Carrot Flowers
Album of the Week In The Aeroplane Over The Sea (Neutral Milk Hotel)
When I think of the late 90s, I picture a musical wasteland populated by teen pop stars and rap-rock bands. A desert landscape dotted with Britney Spears-shaped cacti and Fred Durst shrubs. A tumbleweed blows in front of you, looking suspiciously like Lance Bass. As you trudge forward through this barren nightmare, increasingly thirsty for real art, you stumble across a tiny, hidden oasis of salvation. That oasis is Neutral Milk Hotel.
As is the case with most challenging and interesting music, Neutral Milk Hotels In The Aeroplane Over The Sea remained (and still remains) underground and outside the periphery of our mainstream culture. I wish I could say I was one of the first to buy this album when it was released in 1998, but I (sadly) only discovered it this year. Neutral Milk Hotel has long since split up, but this album is easily one of the best of the last decade. Ive become completely, recklessly obsessed with it.
I suspect this is the kind of album you either love or hate. Jeff Mangums voice is scratchy, quivery, and a bit on the twangy side. Quiet, acoustic numbers are often punctuated by frequent brassy interludesone review of this album describes Aeroplane as a marching band on acid. I dont entirely disagree with the comparison. The title track features musical sawsin three-part harmony. There are songs about medical oddities and Anne Frank. The lyrics dont always make sense, at least consciously, but they always seem rightas if theyre the scattered remnants of some bizarre dream you just woke up from.
Aeroplane is hauntingly beautiful, and wonderfully weird. Its the kind of album that is best enjoyed while lying on the floor, all alone, in a pitch-black room. Keep an open mind, surrender and allow the music to wash over you. It will make you smile, it will make you weep, it will give you goose bumps. It will feed your soulunless, perhaps, you dont have one.
Film of the Week Look At Me (French w/ English subtitles)
Get over whatever subtitle-avoiding tendencies you may have and rent this film NOW. Look At Me is the story of Lolita, a young, aspiring singer who also happens to be chubby. Her father is an acclaimed writer, divorced from Lolitas mother and re-married to a gorgeous young woman, not much older than Lolita. Lolitas father occasionally makes fun of her weightwhen hes paying attention to her at all.
Recommended for anyone who is angry at the way womens appearances are still valued over their talent and intelligence, and for anyone who has had a less-than-perfect relationship with their parents. That should cover just about everyone.
Beer of the Week Lost Lake
PBRs long-lost cousin. OKso its not Fat Tire, but it IS good cheap drinking for all. Served at your favorite local live music venue, or purchased for practically pennies at your neighborhood liquor store. Pop one open, turn out the lights, and listen to In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. Really. I insist.
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Shiver Me Timbers
After a week of being smoke free (believe me, it can be a tough thing to do while watching an OU football game), we decided to “celebrate” seven days of cleaner lungs with dinner from somewhere new (to us). We considered P.F. Chang’s and Musashi’s but finally settled on Royal Bavaria.
“Smoking or non?” asked the waitress.
It was quite nice to finally be able answer this question differently. It’s little things like this that make me feel good about deciding to finally quit. It’s also nice not having to stop at a convenience store so often. I don’t ever have to actually go inside anymore. Just pay at the pump and go. I tend to like things that reduce my interactions with people. Like self-checkout lines at the supermarket. I like those. And, debit cards. A debit card means never having to go to a mall again. And that, my friend, is heaven. Oh, and blogs.
Back to Royal Bavaria (and Brewery).
German food sure doesn’t look pretty…at least what we ordered. Not exactly attractive food. But, then again, who has taste buds on their eyes? But, veal, pork, and beef certainly do go quite well with fermented cabbage and liquid bread (a.k.a. King’s Weizen, their wheat beer). The meal was amazing. One of those rare meals where every bite seems perfectly designed for your palate. The type of meal that could make a food snob out of somebody. So, that brings up another of those little things to be happy with after quitting smoking…dessert. Up until this point, the only dessert I’ve ever really had after a satisfying meal is another cigarette. And maybe another beer. But, now, dessert is a welcome possibility. Hopefully not too welcome though.
Back to the OU football.
Two losses. That sucks. But, it is just a game. Except maybe for the kids actually playing the game. But not for you, or me. Just because you bought a t-shirt, a matching pair of car flags, or season tickets doesn’t entitle you to anything. Fans at other schools go to games and support their team and love every single minute of it–all the while knowing that their team has no chance at a championship or even a winning record. It may be hard to be humble, but a little humility goes a long way.
So, with that being said, it’s almost a certainty that the New Orleans Hornets will be welcomed to Oklahoma City with much adoration. After all, they did have the worst record in the NBA’s Western Conference last year. As long as they give it their best…
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