Harvest Church

6450 NW 36th Ave, Norman

Service Times: Sundays at 10:00am and 6:00pm

I was invited to Harvest Church a few months ago by one of its members, and figured it was high time I took him up on the offer. A couple of days before my church-hop, I studied the church’s website, hoping to get an idea of what to expect. The good news? There was more substance, more insight into what these folks believe, than many of the other church websites I’ve seen. The bad news? Some of what I read made me a little nervous.

On the “What We Believe” page, I found some talk about the Rapture (the first time I’ve come across this kind of thing so far in my church-hopping), as well as a few indications that I might be about to experience a charismatic church. (Click here for Wiki’s description of Pentecostal and Charismatic churches.) Much of what I read about Harvest Church’s beliefs seemed to fit the description – water baptism, lots of talk about the Holy Spirit, and some signals that speaking in tongues might not be entirely out of the question. In addition, I learned that Harvest Church believes that the Bible is “the only infallible guide,” and that by “sowing one’s seeds in the storehouse of the Lord” (I assume this refers to tithing), one will be rewarded by the reaping of a great harvest. Similarly, they believe that “poverty, debt, and lack are a curse.”

On the Outreach Ministries page, I found this interesting bit about “Street Evangelism:”

Street Evangelism – Outreach thorugh [sic] witnessing on the streets of Oklahoma using the Way of the Master techniques and passing out Gospel tracks [sic].

Oh, my.

I was experiencing an odd mixture of dread and excitement. I was nervous about what the service might be like, but I also couldn’t wait. This promised to be something much, much different than the previous churches I’ve visited.

And, it was. From the moment the stage curtain swept back dramatically to reveal a large, multiracial choir and band, to the very end, this was certainly different.

Let’s start with the music. I loved it.

This was full-on, balls-to-the-wall Gospel. I’m also pleased to report that the lyrics were, for the most part, very God-appropriate. There was little of that “Jesus is my boyfriend” vibe, and more of the “God is Great” kind of vibe. One notable exception was a song with the unfortunate lyrics, “Can’t nobody do me like Jesus / Can’t nobody do me like the Lord.” With all apologies to the good folks at Harvest Church, I almost lost it during that number. But aside from that, I have to give Harvest Church an enthusiastic thumbs-up on the music. In fact, I caught myself tapping my foot and nodding my head along just a bit, something I never do. Well done, choir and band – well done.

Furthermore, the keyboard player continued to play throughout most of the service, providing something of a score to the sermon. This guy was really terrific. I doff my cap to you, good sir.

Something I wasn’t quite so fond of was the amount of time that was spent urging us to give money to something called “Gideon’s Army.” From what I could tell, the funds go towards improvements to the facility. Members were encouraged to donate a dollar a day for the next year; to give and they will be blessed by God. Soft piano music underscored what felt oddly like a PBS or NPR pledge drive.

Moving on.

This is the first church I’ve visited (aside from St. Mark’s) that has done Communion. I’m always curious to see how non-Catholic churches approach this. Ushers passed a golden plate of what looked to be cracker bits up and down the rows, as well as another golden plate containing tiny plastic cups of what appeared to be wine (but was probably grape juice). I abstained, of course, but found myself wondering why all the ushers were men. Does Harvest Church allow women to be ushers, or is this a boys-only club?

Speaking of which – I also noticed that, as with NewChurch, the Ministries are separated into Men’s Ministries and Women’s Ministries. Could someone explain to me why, after the (coed) Kingdom Kids, followed by the (also coed) 24/7 Student Ministry, one graduates to a life of gender segregation until the Seniors group?

I will say this for Harvest Church – aside from the fact that there are no female ushers, they do appear to have quite a few women in leadership roles. Also, I found Harvest Church much more racially diverse than many of the other churches I’ve visited. Another thumbs up on this.

Now, for the sermon. Aside from something I may see from time to time while flipping past the religious channel, or maybe in a movie (I was strongly reminded of Paul Dano’s character in There Will Be Blood), I’ve never seen preaching like this. Pastor Jeff Burns was charismatic, in the not-describing-a-church sense of the word. He was jumping all over the place, sweating and shouting. It was a firey, passionate, even mesmerizing, spectacle. Dare I say there’s even something kind of sexy about this kind of preaching, once you get used to the histrionics. Watching him, I could totally see how someone could be drawn into a cult. (I’m not saying that Harvest Church is a cult, I only mean that some of the qualities I saw demonstrated that morning are similar to the persuasive and hypnotic qualities often attributed to cult leaders.)

As for the content of the sermon, it was all pretty joyful and exuberant until it turned to talk of “spiritual warfare.” This kind of language always sends a chill down my spine. What, exactly, is meant by this? One of the verses referred to by Pastor Jeff mentioned something about “vengeance on the heathens” and “execute upon them the judgment written.” As one of those aforementioned “heathens,” I had to wonder at this point what I’d gotten myself into. I checked around for an escape route, just in case. What kind of weapon was I about to be faced with? Alas, Pastor Jeff went on to say that praise for the Lord was the weapon of choice.

Whew.

So even with no beheadings in my immediate future, I’m still kind of troubled by this kind of rhetoric. I suppose that without it, there would be little or no reason for evangelism. Without heathens to save, or evil to fight against, evangelicals would have little to do but sit around, singing and praying and building bigger churches. But the idea of “spiritual warfare” forces me to ask some uncomfortable questions. How great is that divide between metaphorical and literal meaning? How wide is the distance between converting by praise and converting by the sword?

A large chunk of the sermon dealt with faith, and how it’s “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Again, without this belief there would be little reason for churches to exist. I understand that. However, I’m someone who holds an intense appreciation for the observable world, and finds plenty of joy and meaning in the wonders of science, in the evidence of things seen. So, as I’m clearly not the target audience, I’ll refrain from commenting any further. I’ve engaged in the whole religion vs. science debate often enough to know that when two people are speaking different languages, the whole thing is likely to end in frustration all around. I’m probably not going to convince you of anything, and you’re probably not going to convince me. A peaceful coexistence is maybe the most we can hope for.

The service was perhaps the longest service I’ve ever attended, clocking in at two hours. Everyone I came into contact with was very welcoming and friendly, and I shook so many hands that I felt like a politician at a fundraiser. And the exuberance! These folks really get into the service – shouting and clapping and singing along. It’s pretty much at the opposite end of the spectrum from what I’m used to, which is terrific, because the whole point of my church-hopping project is to experience the full range of how people worship. And I have to say that despite my serious concerns regarding some of the sermon’s content, and what I felt was a little too much focus on giving money to the church, I actually had a pretty good time at Harvest Church.

NewChurch

9201 N. Rockwell, Oklahoma City

Service Times: Sundays at 9:00am, 10:15am and 11:30am

Before I get started, I have a request to make:

Hey, NewChurch – could you please put some kind of sign or banner out front?

My church-hopping buddy and I drove right by, only noticing the “New Church Ave.” street sign as we were passing it.

NewChurch is very similar to some churches I’ve visited in the past – New Life, Journey Church and the like. Very casual, seemingly non-denominational, and with the same bland, vaguely creepy Christian contemporary music. To be fair, I’d been warned about the music by David over at Voyage Blog (who attends NewChurch), so I won’t spend a lot of time bitching about it. I just have to say that one song, in particular, cracked me up. I think it was called, “There’s Something About Jesus” and included the line, “like the fragrance after the rain.”

Besides being unfortunately reminded of Cameron Diaz’s infamous “hair gel” scene in a similarly-titled movie, I couldn’t help but wonder- does Jesus smell like ozone?

As with those other churches, I didn’t notice a whole lot of diversity, which is always a little disappointing. NewChurch seems to consist of an awful lot of white, middle-class folks. (Not that there’s anything wrong with white, middle-class folks, at least I hope there isn’t – I’m one, myself.) But I have to wonder how much can really be learned, how much intellectual and spiritual growth can really be attained, when everyone else looks like you and believes the same things as you. Where’s the challenge?

I suppose that’s why I don’t belong to a church (well, aside from the fact that I’m not religious in the least). Most seem a little too “clubby” for my taste.

I was also troubled by some of the announcements in the church bulletin, which seemed to reinforce gender stereotypes. There’s Monday Night Women’s Study (or a special group for moms and their kids under four, if you’d prefer) for the ladies, and Flag Football for the dudes. What if I wanted to play flag football? Surely I can’t be the only woman who would rather hang with the guys than make quilts or play with babies. Surely there are women at NewChurch who are more focused on their careers than on having kids, right? I can’t help but feel like there’s no place at a church like this for someone like me.

Then again, perhaps I’m simply making too many assumptions on the basis of a few announcements.

After a few more songs, there was a prayer, followed by a brief film that confused the hell out of me. A chiropractor told us about an incredibly unhealthy man, who after visiting all kinds of doctors to no avail, went to this chiropractor who somehow managed to cure him. (???) The unhealthy (now healthy) man went on to build a 34,000 square foot house, the largest in Texas. (???) A few years later, the man was killed during a robbery. The film then cut to an interview of an addict who told us about one strange day when his dealer gave him a bible that belonged to the addict’s dad. He said he got it during a robbery. The addict later lit up a joint and read through the Bible. (???)

That’s pretty much how the movie ended.

Did I miss something? What the hell was that all about? A magical chiropractor who succeeded where all other medical professionals had failed? A man who built a really big house? And are you telling me that the addict’s dealer killed the addict’s dad? And at some point during this crime, decided to take the victim’s Bible? And how did he know the victim was the father of one of his clients? And the client, after receiving his murdered father’s Bible, wasn’t fazed one bit, or even curious about how his dealer came into possession of said Bible? What happened to this addict, anyway? Did he just read through the Bible? Or did he find Jesus and suddenly become completely rehabilitated? Seriously – what is the message here?

You can imagine how much fun I am to watch movies with.

It did sort of tie into the sermon, though, which was about recovery. Since I’m going through a “recovery” of my own, of sorts – I found the topic timely and relevant, and I was curious to hear what would be said. A big part of the message seemed to be that we just need to turn all of our problems over to God and we’ll be okay. How nice that sounds, and I mean that in a non-snarky way. I almost wish that I could believe that, instead of feeling that it’s my responsibility to kick my bad habits and live a cleaner, healthier life. That can be an annoyingly heavy burden to carry around sometimes.

I will end by saying that it was very nice to finally meet David from Voyage Blog in person. Thank you for inviting me to your church, and I hope you can shed light on anything I may have misinterpreted.

McFarlin Memorial United Methodist Church

419 S. University Blvd., Norman

Service Times: Sundays at 8:30am and 10:55am

Welcome to a long-overdue installment of “Church-Hopping with Sarah.” I’ve gotten sidetracked with other things (i.e. grad school) over the past few months, as you may already know. Church-hopping was moved to the back burner.

Yesterday, it moved off the back burner and onto the front burner. My church-hopping buddy and I went to McFarlin Memorial United Methodist Church in Norman, at her suggestion. McFarlin is tucked away behind Campus Corner, and I’ve always loved this church – it’s grand and majestic and very, very “church-like.” At least what I consider church-like. I was happy to finally get a chance to peek inside.

My friend, who’d been to this church before, explained that there are two different services at 10:55 (with a church this large, I guess you’d have the space to do that) – one traditional and one contemporary. We opted for Traditional.

The sanctuary was quite nice, and reminded me of the churches I attended as a kid. It was spacious, with a balcony and high, high ceilings. I was especially delighted to see a giant pipe organ up at the front, and after perusing the program, spotted Bach’s “Prelude and Fugue in C Major” listed as the Postlude. Yep, this was definitely the kind of place in which I feel at home.

As we waited for the service to start, my friend pointed out some “Instructions for Singing” in the front of the hymnal. Written by Methodist Church founder John Wesley himself, they included such sage advice as, “sing lustily and with a great courage.”

John Wesley sure knows how to make singing sound fun.

The service was unremarkable – it was in the traditional format of hymn / prayer / hymn / sermon – but I enjoyed the hymns much more than the bland Christian contemporary crap I’ve found at most other churches. The sermon was titled, “American Idols: Wealth,” clearly part of a series. It was, as you might suspect, about the emptiness of greed and the need for those that have more to give more. Preachin’ to the choir, my friend. No arguments here. Next week’s sermon is about “pleasure,” – which sounds a little more enticing.

I really had only two complaints about my experience at McFarlin. First, I wanted the organist to pull out all the stops and really whale on that thing. It seemed a tragic shame to have such a beautiful instrument and not play it “lustily and with great courage.”

I suspect John Wesley would’ve been disappointed, as well.

Secondly, the “children’s message” section of the service was kind of irritating. All the children went up to the front to hear a message from some college girl. I couldn’t see her from where I was sitting, but she had one of those annoyingly perky, sorority-girl kind of voices. The “message” was something about how being a Christian was sort of like being a college student – you have to study to do well.

I’ll admit to rolling my eyes a little during this section.

Since I know relatively little about the Methodist denomination, I did a little additional research. Thanks to the Wiki entry on the subject, I learned that the United Methodist Church (UMC) is the second-largest Protestant denomination (after Southern Baptist), and is the largest Methodist denomination. It’s also apparently quite popular with high-profile political candidates. George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton and John Edwards are all members.

I guess that backs up the UMC’s claim that they encompass a wide range of theological and political beliefs.

After perusing the United Methodist site, I found that a lot about the UMC seems wonderfully progressive. Women can be ordained, with full rights. The UMC appears to have staked out an opinion on nearly every imaginable issue, even sustainable agriculture:

We support a sustainable agricultural system that will maintain and support the natural fertility of agricultural soil, promote the diversity of flora and fauna, and adapt to regional conditions and structures—a system where agricultural animals are treated humanely and where their living conditions are as close to natural systems as possible.

Score one for the UMC. Here’s what the church has to say on “Rights for Women”:

We affirm women and men to be equal in every aspect of their common life. We therefore urge that every effort be made to eliminate sex-role stereotypes in activity and portrayal of family life and in all aspects of voluntary and compensatory participation in the Church and society.

We affirm the right of women to equal treatment in employment, responsibility, promotion, and compensation. We affirm the importance of women in decision-making positions at all levels of Church life and urge such bodies to guarantee their presence through policies of employment and recruitment.

Score another one for the UMC. Intrigued, I decided to check out their positions on a few hot-button topics:

Equal Rights Regardless of Sexual Orientation:

We see a clear issue of simple justice in protecting their rightful claims where they have shared material resources, pensions, guardian relationships, mutual powers of attorney, and other such lawful claims typically attendant to contractual relationships that involve shared contributions, responsibilities, and liabilities, and equal protection before the law.

Okay, but according to the Wiki entry, they don’t condone same-sex marriage. I’m unclear where they stand on “civil unions,” though. Maybe it’s just a terminology issue.

Or maybe not. The section on “Human Sexuality” addresses the issue of homosexuality a little more. Although they say that homosexuals are “no less than heterosexual persons” and are “individuals of sacred worth,” the UMC “does not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching.” This confuses me. How can someone be equal if you disapprove of who they are? I still take issue with the description of homosexuality as a “practice” rather than a fundamental, unchangeable part of who someone is. I appreciate the UMC’s assertions of their belief in equality, but it seems to me that they have a little more work to do on this issue.

In the same section, the issue of sex education is addressed. Since I’m currently midway through Tom Perotta’s latest novel, The Abstinence Teacher, this was a very relevant topic to me. Here’s what I found:

We recognize the continuing need for full, positive, age-appropriate and factual sex education opportunities for children, young people, and adults. The Church offers a unique opportunity to give quality guidance and education in this area.

So they support comprehensive sex ed? Good for them.

Finally, I checked the “Abortion” section and found the UMC’s stance on abortion to be interestingly fuzzy:

Our belief in the sanctity of unborn human life makes us reluctant to approve abortion. But we are equally bound to respect the sacredness of the life and well-being of the mother, for whom devastating damage may result from an unacceptable pregnancy. In continuity with past Christian teaching, we recognize tragic conflicts of life with life that may justify abortion, and in such cases we support the legal option of abortion under proper medical procedures. We cannot affirm abortion as an acceptable means of birth control, and we unconditionally reject it as a means of gender selection.

Sounds pretty pro-choice to me.

Overall, I was pleased with what I discovered, both in my research and in my experience at McFarlin. If I were a Believer, the UMC is a church I very well might consider joining.

Norman’s Trinity Baptist brought in William A. Dembski, an ID proponent, to “penetrate the university campus with the gospel.” According to the Elders at Trinity Baptist, the science departments at OU are “not friends of Christianity.”

On Sunday, Dembski gave a talk “Intelligent Design and Academic Suicide: How not to be the Next Casualty.” Then Monday’s lecture was supposed to be about “Why Atheism is no Longer Intellectually Fulfilling: The Challenge of Intelligent Design to Unintelligent Evolution.” Hah! Apparently, there was a full-page ad in the Oklahoma Daily signed by 200 faculty, staff, and grad students. This was just one of the tools (aside from the brain) used to counter Dembski’s visit.

ERV has a great first-hand account of Trinity Baptist’s pathetic attempt at bringing Intelligent Design to the University of Oklahoma. It is a must read–and her blog is going right into my aggregator and right on my blogroll. When you bring in defenders of Intelligent Design and Creationism and put them in a room full of smart people, things are going to get messy. I love it.

But you know, at some point, (if you’re not there already) you’ve just got to feel sorry for these ID’ers. It’s kinda sad.

Anyways, you can read ERV’s account here:

Part i
Part ii
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Apparently, there may be audio of the event up at some point. The Q & A sounded like a hoot.

You can read about Sarah’s Church Hopping visit to Trinity Baptist back in June here.

(via Pharyngula)

Update (1:02 pm): Alan/Rhology, a 7-year member of Trinity Baptist (and former atheist) as well as a commenter on the aforementioned Church Hopping post, has an account of the events here.

Mars Hill

1310 N.W. 25th St., OKC (inside Kamp’s Deli)

Gathering Time: Sundays at 5:30pm

I was especially interested in church-hopping over to Mars Hill for several reasons:

1. This was the first church for which I actually received an invitation to attend.

2. Mars Hill advertises in the Gazette.

3. There seems to be a strong focus on service and giving.

4. Their “church” is also a deli with delicious-sounding sandwiches and salads. (In fact, a portion of my notes from last night contain such brilliant observations as, “feta, apple and spinach salad = yum.” I’m not kidding.)

My new church-hopping buddy and I showed up at Kamp’s promptly at 5:30, and quickly discovered that the first 15 minutes or so of the gathering is “social time.” Everyone was mingling over complimentary coffee and cake. We chatted with Ben, the faux-hawked pastor of Mars Hill, as well as Ryan, the member who invited me. They were both very friendly and engaging, although I found myself slightly unnerved by a pastor younger than myself. (Ben is 27.)

Mars Hill seems to be the hipster church of OKC. I swear I heard the beginning of a Decemberists song playing on the sound system right before the service began. And, though most of the seemingly 35-and-under crowd would be considered “clean-cut” by most standards, I spotted more piercings and emo-kid glasses than at most churches I’ve been to.

The service began with a prayer and music of the acoustic guitar/barefoot bongo player variety. Sadly, I had returned to the wasteland of Contemporary Christian Crap. The musicians themselves were fine; I just really abhor this kind of music.

Sample lyric: “Nothing compares to the beauty of the Lord / Jesus, your love takes my breath away.”

Ewww. Why are songs like this necessary? Surely there are ways of describing one’s relationship with the Lord that are a little less sappy, and a little more interesting. I want to speak with whoever is writing these songs. And, before you go thinking this is just another biased rant against Christians, let me inform you that I hate cheesy love songs period, be they about Jesus or someone’s ex-girlfriend.

Just a matter of personal taste, I suppose. But it really gets me fired up.

Two songs turned into three, which turned into four. I became a little restless, but thankfully, Pastor Ben took the stage before my fidgeting went extreme. His sermon (part four in the “Kingdom of God” series) was basically Horticulture 101 – the parable of the mustard seed. The modern church should resist the temptation to be something big and spectacular, like a cedar tree, and instead be content with remaining small, spindly, yet widespread – like the mustard bush. (Ahem – are you listening, New Life and Journey Churches of the world? I think he’s talking to you.) The bigger a church gets, the more their money is spent on upkeep and less on helping people.

Although Ben seemed a little inexperienced and/or nervous, and I thought he pushed the mustard seed metaphor just about as far as it could go, I found a lot in his sermon I could appreciate. From my Atheist Outsider perspective, a good sermon is one in which it’s relatively easy for me to filter out all the Christian stuff, and still walk away with a few inspirational tidbits.

Ben spoke about the importance of the here and now, how we should do small things well, and act within our own communities. Many of us are too focused on our big dreams and our “callings,” while being generally dissatisfied with where we are now in our lives. This statement in particular resonated with me, reminding me of several of my friends, who are always complaining about how they’re not where they thought they’d be at this stage in their life. I went through the same thing myself a year and a half ago when I turned 30.

I like the idea of accepting that not everyone can (or should) try to be rich and famous and “important” – all most of us can really hope for is to do the best we can with what we have. And really, don’t the little things we do for people matter just as much as the big things? It’s great to have goals and dreams, but you can’t just sit around and think about all the things you’re going to do “someday.” Do them now. Or at least, do something now.

Judging from their bulletin, Mars Hill seems to be putting its money where its mouth is. They appear to be involved with several efforts – the Traveler’s Aid & Homeless Assistance Center of OKC, the Rwanda Clean Water Project and the Cross & Crown Mission, to name a few. Of course, they still sported a huge flat-screen television on which to project the song lyrics, as well as glossy informational cards – but the extra accoutrements were modest compared to previous churches I’ve attended.

Of all the churches so far in my little church-hopping experiment, this might be the one I’d be most likely to return to, were I Christian. The members seem a little more like my kind of people, and I like the emphasis on working within the community. It’s not just mindless platitudes about making the world a better place – Mars Hill seems to be about real action. I respect that tremendously, and am inspired to find a way to step up my volunteer work.

I now feel a little embarrassed about my own haphazard approach to church-hopping. These folks actually have a charter:

1. “Church Hop” is only a nickname for the program, which is not limited to churches alone, but includes any house of worship.

2. Church Hoppers must “play along.” Observe the church’s customs, participate as best as you can. Within your own comfort zone accept any offer, follow any tradition, take part in any ritual, etc.

3. “Sunday best” is the required attire for purposes of respect to the church.

4. If Church Hoppers are invited to a particular church, that church will take precedence.

5. Church Hop will occur every possible Sunday, at a different church each session.

6. Church Hoppers should only skip a session if absolutely necessary.

7. Church Hoppers will stay until the end of services, unless special circumstances should arise. This will be dealt with on a case-by-case basis.

8. Church Hoppers should try to meet at least one person in the duration of a session. Church Hoppers can choose to disclose the information about Church Hop, and provide the information about the website. However, Church Hoppers should not respond to questions that require the comparison of churches.

9. When tithing is applicable, one dollar per person is the suggested rate. Also, a personal note about Church Hop can be left behind, but it must be respectful.

10. If other people are interested in joining Church Hop, they will be encouraged to come along. However, they must agree to all rules laid out in the charter.

11. Within the calendar week of a Church Hop session, a complete blog entry will be made about the church, adhering to the template that follows.

I love such a disciplined approach to such an adventure, and their blog has inspired me to adopt some of the same techniques. Some of the rules I suspect I’ll have trouble following – for example, I’d have a hard time tithing if I found something about a particular church exceptionally offensive or troubling. And Rule #8 freaks me out a bit, since I tend to be pathologically shy around strangers. However, I’ve already been following most of the rules – dressing nicely, staying until the end of the service, being respectful of a particular church’s customs. Rule #4 makes me feel badly, since I have been invited to one church, Mars Hill, which I have yet to attend. I will, soon. Promise.

Now I’m itching to get hopping again – on a more regular basis. I have to volunteer at the shelter this Sunday, but next week, it’s on. Unfortunately, my church-hopping friend is becoming bored with the experience, so I fear I’ll be on my own from here on out. I think I can handle it, but if anyone is interested in joining me, the invitation is extended.

Trinity Baptist Church

801 N. Peters, Norman

Services: Sunday at 10:40am and 6:00pm

After a somewhat lengthy hiatus, I resumed my church-hopping adventure yesterday with a visit to Norman’s Trinity Baptist Church. Southern Baptist churches are a dime a dozen in this part of the country, so I pretty much selected this one at random. I was tired of the mega-churches, and wanted to check out something a little more conservative and traditional. Trinity seemed to fit the bill, especially when I discovered Brother Ronnie’s blog. (Brother Ronnie is Trinity’s senior pastor.)

Although Trinity was certainly more traditional than say, Journey Church, it still featured a few mega-church elements. In addition to a full choir, there was a drum kit, a giant screen onto which the song lyrics were projected, and no shortage of contemporary Christian music.

Okay. Let’s talk about the music for a second. I’ve come to realize that when it comes to church music, I am very much a purist. I want huge, billowing, pipe organ-produced chords. I want the same soul-stirring hymns that once inspired the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Mahler. I don’t want crap that basically sounds like any cheesy love song, only with the word “Jesus” substituted for “baby.” (“Come on Jesus, light my fire,” anyone? Or how about, “hit me Jesus, one more time?”) I don’t want to hear songs about how your God’s love is so “irresistible.”

Seriously. It makes me feel really, really creepy.

I also wonder why they even bother with hymnals, since they’ve apparently been rendered more or less obsolete. I did, however, spend some time flipping through the hymnal, and was slightly disturbed to find a “spiritual warfare” section. “Onward, Christian Soldiers”-type stuff. Silly me, I always thought Christianity was about peace and love, not putting a boot up someone’s ass!

Finally, after no fewer than seven songs about people’s burning passion for the Lord, we moved on to the sermon. The sermon was quite lengthy, and seemed to jump all over the place thematically. I’ll admit that it’s quite possible I missed out on some context, since I spent a great deal of time scribbling down my notes and thoughts.

I remember my one previous experience at a Southern Baptist church, and how I felt afterwards. This experience was very similar – sad and a little scary. Brother Ronnie spent a great deal of time discussing how human wisdom is useless. “All human wisdom comes from our fallen nature,” and “human wisdom is damningly alluring to the fallen flesh,” are just two of the quotes I jotted down. I understand that many Christians have a near-hatred of “worldly” things, and a serious distrust of things like, say, science, but this went on for so long that I actually became a little depressed.

If you’re someone who believes this, then don’t you sometimes have to wonder, “what’s the point?” Why even bother sending your kids to school, if everything they learn is just worthless in the grand scheme of things? Why bother to even learn how to read?

Much time was spent also discussing a similar concept – the refusal to “boast in men.” The only way to be exalted is by humbling yourself. I’ll be the first to admit that humility and unselfishness are wonderful traits, ones that I aspire to every single day, but I still believe there is no such thing as a truly unselfish act. Thinking that by “humbling yourself” you will someday be “exalted,” is still self-serving. Doing the right thing because that’s a ticket to Heaven, or because that’s what God wants you to do, is self-serving.

Furthermore, do these people really think that God doesn’t want them to feel happy (or yes, even a little proud) when they achieve something wonderful? If so, then I again have to ask, “what’s the point?” I’m slowly beginning to realize how certain Christians throughout history could have engaged in seemingly unthinkable practices like self-flagellation. If everything that happens on Earth is just something to be endured until you can reap your eternal rewards, then again – what’s the point?

I’m quite certain Brother Ronnie and his followers would disagree with me, but what I saw this Sunday morning was a man who spent an awful lot of time telling his congregants that basically everything they thought, felt or knew was useless and ungodly. And, since the pastor is presumably speaking for God, or has some sort of answer – doesn’t it seem logical to conclude that you must listen to him, and do what he says, if you want to be “good’ or “right?” Conversely, anything that contradicts what the Bible says, or what Brother Ronnie says, is useless or even “evil.”

Hhhmm. What a convenient way to exert control and influence over large numbers of people.

I don’t know how representative Trinity is of Southern Baptist churches in general, but the message I received seemed frighteningly, depressingly authoritarian. Do as I say. Don’t question. It makes me sad to think of people being told that any pleasure or joy outside of the “godly” realm is bad. It makes me sad to think of people being told that everything they know, everything they feel, is bad. It seems to be a doctrine of hatred of the world, and hatred of self.

No wonder these poor folks can’t wait for the Rapture.

Journey Church

I-35 and Tecumseh Rd., Norman

“Worship Experience” times: Sundays at 8:15, 9:30, 11:15 and 5:30

If this write-up is a bit boring, it may be because “boring” is the word I would use to describe my visit to Journey Church. (In the interest of full disclosure, I was a bit tired and hung over that particular morning, and not in the best of moods to start with.) I’m just tired of the churches that try to wow you with style rather than substance. Essentially a rerun of my trip to New Life Bible Church a while back, my Journey Church “experience” was very underwhelming, despite all the pizzazz they tried to throw at me.

I entered into a massive lobby, furnished with bistro tables and sofas. Before me, lay a giant spread of donuts, alongside metal troughs filled with soda and bottled water. I poured myself a cup of coffee (I do love the free coffee) and watched people enter as I waited for my friend to arrive.

Like New Life, the majority of Journey Churchers are young-ish, many appearing to be high school or college-aged. Very preppy, very clean-cut, very Christian-looking, young people.

Also like New Life, the service (“worship experience” as they’re called at Journey Church) was held in a giant auditorium, complete with stage, band and light show. The best thing I can say about my “experience” is that the band was actually quite good, especially the fiddler. We’d apparently visited on Bluegrass Day, or so said the pastor. This is good, I thought. I like bluegrass. However, only the first song was really bluegrass – subsequent songs devolved into a blander, “Christian contemporary” style. But I digress.

Journey Church’s pastor, Clark Mitchell, was another one of those “trying to connect with the youth” types. Loud, hyper, casually dressed. He claimed to have “killed his voice” during an earlier sermon (there are three Sunday morning worship experiences and another one Sunday evening), so we watched the videotape of the earlier, voice-killing sermon. “This feels weird,” whispered my friend. “We’re watching him preach on video, but he’s sitting right there.”

I agreed.

Journey Church is another non-denominational church that tries to appeal to the broadest possible audience, at the expense of feeling rather empty and watered down. The sermon’s message was about leaving one’s comfort zone to chase the impossible dream. Good enough message, but duh. Not exactly revelatory material. A good part of the sermon was spent dealing with Mr. Mitchell’s own “impossible dream” – that is, starting up Journey Church. Which leads me to my biggest problem with these kinds of churches – they seem peculiarly concerned with raising money, and they’re a little too vague about where the money is spent.

Every church I’ve ever attended has had some sort of offering – at some point, the basket gets passed around and congregants throw in some change or a few dollars. There’s nothing unusual about that. But at these kinds of large churches, there seems to be an extra emphasis on “giving.” Journey Church’s website even has a section called “The Great Investment,” which explains why (and more importantly, how) one can donate.

But, I would like to know what happens to my donated funds. Am I paying for the light show? The bottled water and donuts? The full-color bulletin? How much of the money goes to charitable causes?

I was also puzzled by a flyer I found inserted into this week’s bulletin. It was for what appeared to be some kind of leadership conference – “The Influence Index: Increasing A Leader’s True Value.” As I read on, I soon deduced that it was simply a simulcast, one that cost $50 to attend (if you register early, that is – if you register the day of the event, the price jumps up to $70). So you want me to pay $50 for the privilege of watching a video of people speaking thousands of miles away? Seriously?

After visiting a couple of these megachurches, I, surprisingly, find myself more at the conservative, traditional end of the spectrum. I would actually prefer a church in which I may be offended and disgusted by the sermon, to a church with bland, watered-down pop spirituality. I want some substance, even if I violently disagree with the nature of the substance. At places like Journey Church, the sermons sometime seem like just a bunch of words with no real depth or meaning behind them. I’d also rather attend a church that raised money to help the poor, not to pay for their big, flashy auditorium.

To me, these New Life/Journey Churches seem to serve a social function more than a religious one. It’s almost like it’s a big clubhouse, where Christians go to be around other Christians. But to be fair, these megachurches do seem to have many small groups, where people of similar ages and backgrounds meet up for the three F’s: “food, fun and fellowship.” Maybe this is where the hardcore religious stuff takes place – the debates and discussions, the spiritual growth. Or perhaps it’s just another social event. I don’t know. But I’m ready to move on to another type of church.

New Life Bible Church

4343 N. Flood, Norman

Service Time: Sundays at 10:30am

New Life Bible Church is that new breed of church that seems best described by a series of exclamations: There’s a “rock-style” band! Skits are performed during the service! There’s a coffee shop! A bookstore! It’s all so awesome!

New Life is a typical mini-megachurch, in that it seems to try a little too hard to appeal to younger churchgoers. It’s a very laid-back environment – most people were in jeans, and I felt conspicuously overdressed in my khaki skirt. There were free donuts and coffee in the lobby, and no one thought twice about taking their snacks into the auditorium.

The pastor was pretty much what you would expect from a mini-megachurch. A casually-dressed man in his mid-to-late 30’s, he was a whole bag of exclamation points himself: Funny! Hip! Charismatic! Awesome!

(With apologies to Bill Maher, I’d like to propose a New Rule: Christians must stop using the word “awesome.” And “coming.”)

Perhaps because I’m overly cynical, or just have a very particular sense of humor, I seemed to be one of the few people not enjoying said pastor’s sermon / comedy routine. There were folks in the audience actually cackling at his witticisms. The whole thing reminded me of many a work-related conference I’ve been forced to attend in the past. At these events, there’s the inevitable speaker who tries a little too hard to be “cool,” and the inevitable table of brown-nosers sitting way up in the front, laughing uproariously at each word.

But I digress.

I’m confused as to what exactly New Life is striving for. The church bulletin states that New Life is a “unique non-denominational church that is contemporary in style and conservative in theology.” What does this mean? My hunch is that “conservative in theology” is one of those buzzphrases Insiders recognize as a euphemism for something like biblical literalism (Creationism 101, anybody?), or maybe social / political conservatism (down with gay, pro-choice liberals!).

If this is indeed the case, the service was curiously unconservative, beginning with the fact that it was held in an auditorium. Instead of a traditional altar, there was a large stage with a fairly elaborate lighting system. There were no crosses, or any Christian imagery for that matter, visible anywhere in the church. A couple of the “rock-style” songs made reference to Jesus, as did the two (fairly generic) prayers. The sermon referenced a single biblical verse pertaining to greed and contentment (the day’s theme). That was pretty much the extent of the religious content.

Perhaps this is because New Life’s vision, according to their bulletin, is “to see unchurched people become believers and to see believers become fully devoted followers of Christ.” I suppose if New Life’s focus is on reaching the non-religious demographic, it makes sense to keep the content of the service as inclusive and non-offensive as possible. And as someone who enters into a church situation particularly hypervigilant about such things, I have to say that I found nothing offensive here. The sermon was a broad message about how money doesn’t bring happiness, and that we should be content with what we have in our lives.

Who can argue with that? Not I.

I suppose my primary question, though, is this – if you bend over backwards to appeal to everyone, and feature very little actual religious content in your service, how can you call yourself theologically conservative? Something doesn’t really mesh for me here.

I’m also curious about these “unchurched people” New Life is trying to reach. To whom does this term apply? Atheists? Christians who don’t go to church?

Although my experience at New Life was fairly pleasant – I enjoyed sipping on my free coffee during the service, and I found the sermon’s message a good one – there’s something that bothers me about these kinds of churches. I appreciate their efforts to reach out to all kinds of people, churched and unchurched alike, but they just seem to try too hard. But then again, trying too hard to appeal to everyone is definitely preferable to your more traditional, fire-and-brimstone, anyone-unlike-us-will-burn-in-hell kind of church. Between the Jesus Camp freaks and the New Life people, I’ll take the New Life people any day.

St. Mark the Evangelist Catholic Church

3939 W. Tecumseh Rd., Norman

Weekend Mass Times: Saturdays at 5:30pm, Sundays at 9:00am and 11:00am

My friend and I began our church-hopping adventure at St. Mark the Evangelist Catholic Church. I was raised Catholic, and actually attended this particular church once before, many years ago – so I have a certain comfort level with Catholicism, and with St. Mark’s. I liked the idea of starting somewhere “safe,” before venturing out into strange new religious territory.

We got there early and grabbed a seat in the last pew. As Mass began, I felt myself slipping right back into the old familiar routines and rituals. The genuflection, the sign of the cross, the Nicene Creed – it all came flooding back to me. Although I was there as an observer, not a participant, I felt freakishly comfortable.

My mother once said that what she liked about Catholicism is that you could go to any church, anywhere in the world, and it would be pretty much the same. I can definitely see the appeal of this. You know what to expect. No matter what insanity may be going on in the rest of your world, this one thing never changes. It’s extremely comforting.

But at the same time, the very roteness of Catholicism is what turned me away. It’s a very authoritarian religion, and there never seems to be much room for questions or debate. It’s all so very “do as you’re told.” You go through the motions, without ever really thinking about it. It seems strangely empty to me.

But I digress…

When I first saw the priest (who was a visiting priest, not the regular one), I was distracted by how much he resembled John Malkovich. I really wanted him to say “hither and thither,” but was placated when, during the homily, he quoted from a dog-eared copy of Franny and Zooey – maybe the first time I’ve heard a priest read from Salinger.

The homily was inspirational (and this comes from someone who is not easily inspired, mind you). Father Malkovich spoke of being able to recognize God in the little things, like a kind gesture from a stranger. I spent the duration of his sermon mulling this over, greatly appreciating the idea and wondering how an Atheist could apply this concept to her own Godless life.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I guess I could say I believe in God – but in a very, very abstract way. There are so many things that give me that wonderful feeling of total fulfillment, the things you might say “feed my soul.” My dogs’ goofy grins. A great conversation with Dwight. Interesting food. Art. Sex. Thunderstorms. Volunteering at the animal shelter. Couldn’t I say that the way these things make me feel, this intangible quality that brings me such joy, couldn’t I say that this is God? Why does God have to be so, well, God? The traditional concept of a bearded old man who sits on High answering prayers and passing judgment doesn’t really do it for me, but I could get behind the idea of being thankful for that mysterious element of life that gives me such pleasure.

This realization brings me a sense of relief, for some reason. Maybe it’s a small step towards letting go of my anger and alienation. Perhaps I have a deep-seated desire to “pass” as a Believer, to be part of the club. Maybe I have such a desperate need to feel like part of a community that I’ll accept some kind of tenuous definition of God. And is that necessarily a bad thing?

My friend jarred me out of my introspective state. “They let women be ushers?” she whispered. I looked up to see that the ushers were in the process of bringing the gifts up to the altar.

“Yeah,” I whispered back.

“They don’t let women be ushers at my parents’ church.”

“Really?” I asked, incredulously. Catholicism isn’t exactly at the cutting edge of the women’s rights movement or anything, so I’d always taken it for granted that if the Catholic Church allowed female ushers, all churches probably did. Then I remembered attending Dwight’s parents’ church last Christmas, and noticing that there were only male ushers. Why is this? Is the Catholic Church weirdly progressive in this regard, or are these other churches just weirdly retro? It will be my mission to find out.

The rest of the Mass proceeded uneventfully. The Liturgy of the Eucharist was still the same, although I stayed in my seat and didn’t receive Communion. Nothing new to report, although I was still puzzling over the whole female usher thing.

When Mass ended, the woman to my right struck up a conversation with me, asking if my friend and I were new to the church. She looked to be about my age, and for some reason, I instantly liked her. She was very friendly and welcoming, and seemed like someone I would want to be friends with.

I left St. Mark’s feeling strangely happy and peaceful. It was a very pleasant experience, and I was a little unnerved by just how much I enjoyed it.

My friend’s experience was a bit different. Her mother was once Catholic, but my friend was raised in a Southern Baptist environment. She seemed to feel a little uncomfortable with the ritualistic aspects of the Mass, and the homily didn’t really resonate with her. Nor did she particularly like that the Mass was basically the same, week after week. She mentioned her surprise that the prayers focused so much on Jesus Christ, and admitted that like many people, she’d thought Catholics didn’t praise Jesus quite as much as other denominations.

I once again found myself in the role of explaining (and even almost defending Catholicism). This is something I still catch myself doing, even as an Atheist. Regardless of what my religious views are at this point in my life, and despite my disagreements with certain aspects of Catholicism, it’s always a part of me. Sometimes I wonder if being Catholic isn’t a little bit similar to being Jewish or being Muslim. It’s not really something you choose – you’re kind of born into it, and it’s always a part of you. While I resent never being given the opportunity to choose my faith, I wouldn’t be me without Catholicism.

(Incidentally, I also find it interesting that so many prominent Atheists were raised Catholic. That’s a connection I’d like to explore further.)

This was certainly a surprisingly enlightening first day. I definitely didn’t expect to have such a massive epiphany at this early stage. Although I told my friend that next week we need to go somewhere that’s going to piss me off – I enjoyed this church far too much.