I’m a bad blogger. Why am I a bad blogger? Because I feel horrible when this happens:

Worst Film: There actually weren’t that many horrible films this year, compared with years past. I suppose my least favorite might have been some of the shorts Friday night at IAO. The Wright Brothers shorts really annoyed me, and though I hate to say it because the filmmaker was quite a nice guy, Shwarma – Spawn from Hell was pretty bad.

–Me, in my “Best of Fest” post

I just came back from my Okie film fest tour and found your incredible review of my masterpiece – “Shwarma – spawn from hell”.
I was greatly disturbed. But I realized that , as intelligent and astute as you may be, you do have your own parameters for appreciation – as we all do.
Thanks for my first bad review. At least it came from a couple of good {but perhaps slightly misaligned} people. [wink wink nudge nudge]
- creator of the “worst” film. ( or was it second worst?}

–Dewayne Austin, Shwarma – Spawn from Hell

Although everything I post on here is done so with the knowledge that anyone and everyone could potentially read it, this still makes me feel really awful. I realize that my opinions are my own, and I stand by them, but I still can never quite dispel that twinge of guilt when I say something not-so-nice. At the same time, however, I strongly believe in being honest. It just kind of blows when honesty and niceness come into conflict.

A good blogger wouldn’t care. A good blogger would think that his or her opinion was the right one, and everyone who disagreed could go to hell.

Here’s the final list (I think) with links of the films we saw at the 2007 deadCENTER film festival:

Dante’s Inferno
Flesh & Blood
Scaling Up
Outside
The Sleeper Cell
Cranium Theatre
All’s Fair
Muertas
Keeper of the Myth
Over the Wall
Mojave Phone Booth
The Wright Brothers-Chinese Takeout
The Wright Brothers-Zombies in Bermuda
Charlotte’s Fridge
The Eyes of Edward James
Love in the Key of Z
Something’s Burning
Recently Deceased
Coming to Town
Garbage Glitter
Man with a Mustache
Circulation
Schwarma
Bitch
An American Opera
UFO’s at the Zoo
Everything Will Be OK
Gimme Green
Building Imagination
Groundhog Crossing (DVD)

After a good night’s sleep and a little detoxing, I am prepared to offer my analysis of the best and worst of deadCENTER 2007. Of course, I am but one woman and was unable to see everything that screened, but these are the best of what I saw:

Best Short Film: Without a doubt, BITCH. Worth every bit of the hype. It was good, old-fashioned, punk-rock, feminist fun. Bonus points for featuring a bigger girl in a great, ass-kicking role. Filmmakers everywhere, take note: big girls are capable of playing roles other than “wisecracking best friend.” Hopefully, since this was a Sundance short, it will still be available for purchase on iTunes. I’m so buying it.

Best Feature-Length Film: Dante’s Inferno. Fun, clever, different, interesting – these are all adjectives I would apply to this film. I’d like to see this one again.

Best Documentary: Flesh and Blood. A well-made and fascinating glimpse into the body modification subculture. I’m fascinated by the some of the things people do to their bodies, although I personally draw the line at tattoos. With that being said, I can’t wait to get my third one.

Worst Film: There actually weren’t that many horrible films this year, compared with years past. I suppose my least favorite might have been some of the shorts Friday night at IAO. The Wright Brothers shorts really annoyed me, and though I hate to say it because the filmmaker was quite a nice guy, Shwarma – Spawn from Hell was pretty bad.

Best Party: Although the Nonna’s party had great pastries, and the XO Lounge was pretty posh, I’m going to have to go with the kickoff party at TAP Architecture. Cool surroundings, free booze and the excitement of an upcoming three days’ worth of fun still to be had.

Worst Party: I was disappointed with the Museum rooftop party this year. They ran out of beer pretty early, and I’m convinced that some of the snack foods were frozen Target appetizers. But at least they weren’t playing Bon Jovi on a loop.

Best Venue: The Skirvin, just because it’s so unbelievably beautiful. Influencing my opinion might be the fun couple of hours we spent in the bar on Saturday. The staff is super-nice, and have I mentioned how stunning this place is? I’m truly in love with the Skirvin. This is the hotel I’ve always wanted to see in OKC.

Worst Venue: Harkins Bricktown. Although I love the fact that they gave up two screens for deadCENTER this year, it seemed that every screening we attended was plagued with technical difficulties – everything from an inability to operate the DVD player, to bad sound quality, to fickle air conditioning.

Finally, I have to give a random “Best” to Matt Brown. I look forward to those little deadCENTER promos every year, and this year’s collection of Esteban Don Von McDonaldson spots did not disappoint. Also a lot of fun was Esteban’s short film, L’Hell (it’s French), which ran during Friday’s midnight shorts at IAO. I’m really anxious to check out the upcoming Fellowship Students movie. I love you, Matt Brown.

After finally crawling out of bed late Sunday morning, Dwight and I headed up to the Museum Café for brunch. Eggs Benedict for Dwight, a spinach, tomato and Provolone omelette for me. And mimosas. Sweet, sweet mimosas.

But Sarah! You were so smashed last night! What’s with the champagne for breakfast?

To which I drunkenly respond, hair of the dog, my friend. Hair of the dog.

With that being said, though, I’m seriously not drinking again for like, a week. And as much as I wanted to see The Hold Steady at Opolis, Sunday night was simply going to have to be the Sopranos finale and an early bedtime. I was running on empty.

After brunch was deadCENTER’s “Best of Fest” at the Noble Theater. This was the festival’s final event, a screening of all the award-winning short films. There were a few we’d already seen – Bitch, Outside and All’s Fair – and a few we hadn’t – Gimme Green, Everything Will Be OK and Building Imagination. I particularly enjoyed Gimme Green – a short documentary about suburbanites’ obsession with lawn care. It was maddening, hilarious and very well-made. I decided that I’m going to go buy artificial turf, and to hell with my neighbors.

And just like that, deadCENTER 2007 was over. I’m a little depressed, but fortunately, what I have deemed My Summer of Fun is just getting started – there’s camping next weekend, then D-Fest in Tulsa…then a trip to Austin…

I love my life.

After a day and a half of running around, frantically trying to see as many movies as possible, Dwight and I eventually just flaked out and bar-hopped instead.

The two movies we did see were quite wonderful, though. First up was An American Opera, a documentary about efforts to rescue pets after Hurricane Katrina. Although there were some problems with the editing, and the sound was horrendous, the filmmaker did a nicely nuanced job of highlighting the chaos, confusion, and bureaucratic red tape that arises when you have several different agencies and organizations attempting to work together in a tough situation.

Afterwards, Dwight and I headed over to the Skirvin, with the intention of watching another round of shorts and featurettes. However, we felt so drained after watching stray dogs get shot in the streets of New Orleans, we decided to just hang out in The Red Piano (Skirvin’s lounge). I tried a new beer there, Leinenkugel’s Spring Wheat – quite possibly my new favorite beer. It was different from Boulevard Wheat, Blue Moon or any other wheat beer I’ve tried. It tasted vaguely of blueberries. I was in love.

A few beers later, we went back to Bricktown, still halfway intending to catch Fish Kill Flea at Harkins. Instead, we ended up at Makers, and then at The Biting Sow. By the time we finally headed over to the outdoor screening of UFO’s at the Zoo, I was completely, 100% smashed. I don’t remember much after that point, but here’s what I do remember: I remember Wayne Coyne was there to introduce the film. I remember the weather was really nice, almost chilly. I remember it was really trippy each time a train went by (the film was projected onto the side of the railroad bridge at N.E. 3rd and Gaylord). I remember the film was great, and wanting to buy it when it is released on DVD.

I was so drunk.

I vaguely remember going to Nonna’s Purple Bar afterwards for the closing night party. The best thing about this party was the giant tray of mini-pies – butterscotch cream, coconut cream, and banana cream. My favorite thing about Nonna’s is their desserts, so I was in ecstasy over these pastries. Puncturing my balloon of intoxicated bliss however, was whoever thought it might be a good idea to play Bon Jovi’s New Jersey album. Over and over. We finally left after hearing “Bad Medicine” for like, the third time.

I slept until 11:00 the next morning.